By Macgill Frutchey
Yes, I just announced that I would like to punch my younger self in the vag.
Why?
Um, Idk...
maybe because that's about as ridiculous a thing to do as it was for me to make the following 6 judgments before I'd had kids of my own.
Any of these ring a bell?
Why?
Um, Idk...
maybe because that's about as ridiculous a thing to do as it was for me to make the following 6 judgments before I'd had kids of my own.
Any of these ring a bell?
Pre-kid Judgement # 1:
Toddlers that behave like assholes are the result of bad parenting.
Toddlers that behave like assholes are the result of bad parenting.
Post-kid Reality:
Hahahaha no.
As it turns out, toddlers are just assholes.
Of course not in the sense that we'd call an adult an asshole, no, but more of a lovable and involuntary one, if I may.
Any person who holds the relentless desire to follow me into the bathroom every time that I need to urinate, for the sole purpose of standing 3 inches away from my face while repeatedly whining my name, but who swiftly runs from me every time I try to help them do relevant things, like put on pants, is by definition, an asshole.
Or anyone who delights in removing 103 miscellaneous items from my kitchen cabinets each and every morning, expertly littering the entire floor, but appears to be either a deaf mute, or only capable of yelling the word "NO!!!" when asked to help clean them up after, is an asshole.
And an adorable one at that, whom I love more than words can express, but still an a-hole, nonetheless.
Need I go on?
Regardless of whether you allow them to act that way or not, all toddlers have the irritating ability to get under your skin, be that twice an hour, or twice a minute.
The important thing, however, is that you address any rude or disrespectful behavior, and follow through with whatever parenting tactic you use.
Every. Single. Effing. Time.
Because if not, then you're essentially just training your regular asshole to become a bigger and better asshole.
And that's not necessary.
No one needs an advanced, pantless asshole running around their house.
Because that sounds scary AF.